♥Dee 's Simple Life ♥

Love Starts On Christmas Eve

2011-07-13T20:53:00.003+07:00

I've requested this story on http://www.asianfanfics.com, and it's written by llovex3_her. So, if you're reading all my entries on this site, you will know that this story was contained by my true story of life with some made up things. It's totally okay and the writer was doing her job really WELL. When I requested this story, I was inspired by JYP Nation's This Christmas and taaraaa.... I submitted my request. Kkkk.... It's so cool when you're life is written on a story. I can feel that, even the writer said that's her 1st time wrote someone real love story, silly and amazing chance! So, I will post that story here so that it will be forever. kkkk~~

"This is a REAL story, based on the requester's "4dprincezz" true life real story. I hope everyone will love it and support it! Its my first time writing someone else TRUE life love story..but because I don't know alot of things, some things will be made up by me, hope you all will enjoy it :) but the happy ending is requested, so its like I added in..:"- llovex3_her

Note: So, I was written as Hye Rin in that story. That's my Korean name and the boy that yeah... you can recognize it if you read my entries, one who's my close guyfriend, he's Jung Yoon Hwa there. The slut is SNSD's maknae Seo Hyun. I'm not hate here, I love Goguma couple but yeah, that's how the story goes. kkkk, the funniest part is Jaejoong is my older brother here.That's fantastic. kkkk, the other funniest thing is Choi Min Ho of Shinee is my final black knight, it will be a noona-dongsaeng love for real. This is SUPERB FUN~~

HERE'S THE STORY GOES....

Hye Rin stared at the night sky. It's dark, yet beautiful because its full of starry stars and a beautiful shining full moon. She smiled, yet her tears fell. She let them fall. She promise herself, this shall be her last time crying for him. Since he can never be hers, why must she keep on clinging on to him, hurting herself again and again, just for someone that will never be her's? Her mom's once said: "If something is yours, even if you do nothing, it will be your's eventually; If something is not your's, no matter what you do, it will still not be yours". She never really understood the meaning, until now. Its too hard for her to be waiting for someone that cannot be hers..

Hye Rin was sitting at her house balcony's cold floor. She was lying against the hard and white walls. Head was looking at the night sky, tears was forming, streaming down her cheeks, yet her mouth was smiling. She's crying because she know he will never be her's; she's smiling because she know at least she will be able to let go of him, and go to another's embrace.

'Jung Yoon Hwa, this is my first and last time saying this, saranghaeyo'

She closed her eyes, yet her tears can't be stopped.

'Hye Rin' a familiar voice rang out.

'Oppa' Hye Rin turned to see her brother, Jaejoong.

'Pabo, why are you crying for someone that won't be your's?' Jaejoong scolded, his heart pained at his sister's love relationship.

'Ottukae? I don't know why. Oppa, why am I so weird? Why did I fall for my best friend?' Hye Rin cried.

'Pabo! Remember what oppa said before? "There’s this case of starting out as friends, and then falling in love without knowing it. I fell in love this way, and I’m not sure why it is so *such a weird habit right?. I just felt that it’s really good being with someone who is like me. A person who likes the same things and someone that I would get along with is the type that I would fall for"' Jaejoong said.

'I love him, I really do. Guess we are just two pabo siblings' Hye Rin smiled as she joked.

'Yah!' Jaejoong yelled, then hugging the crying Hye Rin tightly.

-Flashback-

'Yah! Jung Yoon Hwa, where do you think you're going?!' Hye Rin yelled, angrily.

'Keke, mianhae Hye Rin-ah, forgive me~' Yoon Hwa pleaded.

'Haha, as if' Hye Rin rolled her eyes, 'how dare you hit me?!'

Hye Rin started to chase after Yoon Hwa, which of course, Yoon Hwa also started to run, trying to get away from the angry Hye Rin. They had been the best of friends for so long, of course he would know her personality. Even when she looks so fierce and stern, he knows better. She's alway so childish and cute when she's with him. But he has some troubles. After Hye Rin managed to "capture" him and tickle him for punishment, she felt his depression.

'Yoon Hwa, are you alright?' Hye Rin asked in concern.

'I'm ok..' Yoon Hwa said, depressed.

'Oh come on, you know I know you better than anyone in this world! So come on, tell me, what happened?' Hye Rin said, smiling, trying to make him happy too.

'I..I fell in love with a girl. But I don't know how to confess to her..I'm afraid that I will get rejected.' Yoon Hwa admitted, smiling awkwardly.

'Oh..really? Who's the girl?' Hye Rin tried to lift her smile as she ask the question.

'Seohyun' Yoon Hwa smiled as he remembered the cute and beautiful girl.

Hye Rin felt her whole world shattering into pieces. Seohyun? Jung Yoon Hwa, you fell for the girl that was transfered to our school for merely 3 months? Our friendship lasted for 1 years and you're telling me that I can't even be compared to someone who was in your life for only 3 months? I guess you never knew, I loved you since a long long time ago..Jung Yoon Hwa..I love you, its just that I never said that to you..

'Will you help me confess to her?' Yoon Hwa suddenly requested.

'...' Hye Rin was silent. Can't you see my broken heart? Can't you see my hurt eyes?

'Will you will you?' Yoon Hwa was all smiling, ignoring the fact of hurting her deeply.

'Sure..why not?' Hye Rin tried to cover her croaked voice, she's suppressing her tears.

-End-

-Flashback-

'She agreed! She agreed to be my girlfriend!!' Yoon Hwa kept on jumping up and down like a kid that just got his candy.

Hye Rin merely smiled. She saw the whole procedure. She can't believe that she has to help her best friend that she loves to confess to another girl, and even has to see him proposing to her to be his girlfriend, and see her accepting his love. She felt her heart tore into two again and again. She wanted to cry, but alas, there was no more tears. But then, she was surprisingly relieved to know that the girl is not really his type. She doesn't understand why she was relieved, maybe because they will break up soon? Or is it that she's still concern about him? She's really a silly smart girl that fell in love with her best friend..

-End-

-Flashback-

'Yoon Hwa, do you really love her?' Hye Rin asked.

She asked this question because she was curious. He said he loved the girl, so he confessed, and now they are a couple. But why is he looking so...so not happy and everything?

'Actually...I'm just lonely..so I decided to confess to her..' Yoon Hwa awkwardly confessed.

Pht! She felt like rolling her eyes. Lonely, yeah right. What about his best friend for one year, her, Kim Hye Rin? Haha, lonely indeed.

-End-

Hye Rin remembered everything that has to do with him. It was full of happiness and sadness. She couldn't help but smile again, even though her tears were still not dried. Jung Yoon Hwa, although you were my first love, my first crush, and also the first guy to break my heart again and again to deeply. You made me fall for you, even when I know you'd never be mine. I still want to thank you. Thank you for teaching me to face the cruel reality, thanks for teaching me what love can bring..

Thanks for everything happening between us...
Thanks for letting me know you...
Thanks for giving me an advise when needed....
Thanks for being a person that can make me smile and cry...
Thanks for being the 1st man seeing me cry; beside my daddy, kekekeke...
Thanks for being another victim of my silly habit of loving someone who's my own friend.. kekekeke
Thanks for being the 1st person guessing true self side...
Thanks for teasing me and making me angry to you...
Thanks for trusting me with your life story and your dirty little secrets...
Thanks for a chance to work together with you...
Thanks for making my already great life become greater...
Thanks for everything...

Now that you're so far gone, all I can do is to remember our past, as what a friend can do. I'll remember all our memories forever in my heart, because your a very special guy. My first love..

A few months later

'Yah! Tae Yeon! Slow down! I can't keep up!' Hye Rin yelled.

'Haha! Faster!' Tae Yeon smiled as she shouted out to Hye Rin.

'Man, you are one sports women' Hye Rin said sarcasticly as she panted.

'Haha! I just don't wanna be late for school' Tae Yeon said, "innocently".

After School

'I have something on, so bye!' Tae Yeon said.

'Bye' Hye Rin said, walking back home on her own.

Music Shop

'Ah! Mianhae!' Hye Rin apologised as she accidently bang into someone.

'Its ok' the other party has a very manly voice, Hye Rin look up to see a very handsome guy.

He smiled, then he said, 'Wanna go out for a drink?'

Although she was shock that a stranger is asking her out for a drink, she simply agreed. She has nothing to lose right? Making a friend is not bad anyway.

'Sure' Hye Rin smiled back at him.

Cafe

'My name's Choi Minho' he smiled

'Name's Kim Hye Rin' Hye Rin smiled back.

So that was the start of her newest friend. She was hesitant when she finally decided to accept his friend request. Ever since Yoon Hwa had his girlfriend, that girl keep calling her to find him. She heard that they broke up in the end, but then, her heart was still broken. And worse, she and Yoon Hwa started to get more and more distance. They lost contact soon. So she was afraid to accept Minho at first. She's afraid that she will also fall for this caring and gentle handsome guy and get hurt again because he will fall for another girl. But then, Minho is so sincere, she can't help but agree...

Christmas Eve

'Where in the world is Choi Minho?' Hye Rin grumbled.

He asked her out, saying that it's a what ever called "date". And now? He left her here at the big open space, where its snowing and people is staring at her, thinking: "What a weirdo, standing under the snow". She's so gonna kill that Choi Minho when he appears!! Suddenly, a young boy holding a red rose ran up to her, passing her the rose. She still didn't have the time to ask question and the boy ran away. Before she could think of what's happening, a girl came up, also passing her a red rose, then a boy, then a girl, a boy, a girl again. She couldn't count how many boys and girls had came up to pass her red roses, but she was still confused.

The light suddenly went off, shocking Hye Rin. Then all of a sudden, the light from those small light bulb tight to the railing of the bridge and everywhere lit up. Hye Rin smiled as the place suddenly became so beautiful. She saw Minho standing at the other end of the bridge, smiling at her, in his hands was something she can't make out.

'If you take one step towards me, I will take the rest of the 99 steps towards you!' Minho yelled.

Hye Rin was confused yet touched at the same time.

'Kim Hye Rin!! Saranghae!! Will you take the first step towards me?' Minho asked.

Smiling, her tears of joy fell. She slowly moved one step forward. She could see that Minho was smiling at her movement. She waited, Minho walked towards her, slowly, but surely. By the time he was near her, she could finally make out what was in his hands. A red rose.

'This is the 99th red rose, for you' Minho said, passing her the rose.

She took it smiling, her tears can't be stopped. Minho smiled as he edge in, closing their gaps, kissing away her tears, then kissing her on the lips. It was Christmas Eve, and she finally found her true love..

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

I'm coming again~~

2011-07-13T19:38:00.003+07:00

It's been a long time for me to write on this space. Kkkk, I know that noone ever visit this blog. Mostly people find for make-up reviewer blogger, K-pop news blogger, make-up tutorial blogger or etc. People rarely visit this kind of blog where the blogger throws all her/his stress there. Kkkkk, but still this is the best thing for me as a loner. Not really a loner but someone loving to keep everything for herself and it's hard for me to find someone listen on my worries. I've found one before, but yeah.. he's gone.

One of my friend, Lisa said that "because as time goes by and people change, the one who you think that you know in and out will become someone you never knew. Indeed it's true. Yeah, I don't know him anymore... Though I know that it's also my faults, but if he really care and think about me as his friend, at least he won't do this. May be he doesn't know about my real feeling, but I do really miss all the time we've spent together, when we did random and deep chit-chat together. But yeah, this is the GOD's will. He'll celebrate his birthday next month, and I will be graduated from my collage this year. So, it's super random. I don't know, half of my heart said that I should tell him all of my feeling, at least I'm not feeling burdened again and starting to forget him immediately, half of my heart said that I shouldn't do that as a girl. But, I have to tell him everything so I'm not keeping this feeling too long. He's the one making my 4 years one-sided love, and now I've been his one-side lover for almost 2 years already. DAMN! But, it's true. I've just missed to talk to him. I never hear any news about him, whenever I try to make a contact with him, he just act coldly just so different when he was totally a caring friend for me.

Now, I know why I never meet a guy friend again, may be GOD hear my pray. Kkkk, I know it's silly but yeah whenever I'm being to close to my guy friend I tend to put my feeling on our friendship, but mostly, but he's taking care of me and he's my typical man; yeah slowly I fall in to and secretly become their admirer. Kkkkk, yeah seems like he's the last one. So, Mister, you the one feeling that have become my chit-chat partner before meeting that slut and starting to aim your career and forget your academic duties; we need to meet once before we can't meet each other again. I think I should tell you everything. You've said that you will bring me a congratulation flower on my graduation day, -bet that you've forget it kkk-, but if you brought that for me, I will give you back and said anything to you. I can't receive it because it will make me thing of you more and more.

It's enough for me to feel lonely whenever I think about you. You've calm me down when I was crying on that camp, and I really miss that comfort hug. That's the 1st time someone hug me when I cry, so whenever I cry I always remember that hug but yeah no one care. I hope that you will achieve your dream soon, I will always pray for you as your forgotten friend....

X.O

Deedee

여러분... 새해 복 많이 받으세요~

2010-12-31T22:00:00.003+07:00

Time goes and moves so fast~~

Right now I'm alone in my room waiting for the 1st day of 2011 coming. Hahahaha... I'm snacking and typing this entry without worrying about my diet. Hahahahaha... Since I'm on my hometown; so I eat more than usual. *aish.... That's why I hate coming back home. ^^

In this lonely new year eve I wanna muse and reflect all the things happened in my life on 2010. For me, 2010 is my hardest year. Not because I'm getting old this year, 21 years old already; aigooo. But, life is getting hard for me; and I know that 2011 will be the same too though I believe that it will be much much better than 2010.

Since, I've got lotta "heartache" on 2010 so I hope that right on 2011 I could finally to be found by someone who need a partner like me and slowly make me fallin to him. I'm getting tired to fall in love with someone never looking on me and only taking a benefit from my kind heart. hahahaha ^^ That's my biggest hope in 2011. Losing my one trusted guy-friend on 2010 and ended fallen to him without made him know again; will be the last part of my NEVER HAPPY ENDING LOVE STORY in my life. 2011; I believe that cupid shoot his right arrow to me. Shoot Shoot Shoot....

2011 means that I will officially graduate from my collage and starting my career. I believe that a promising International corporation will accept me and I can make a great progression there.

2011, I believe that someone will rent one of my house, where I laid lotta childhood memories there, with a great price so that my dad can retire soon before finally sell that on 2015. We'll got lotta money then on 2015, but I hope hope hope *crossing my finger start from 2011 till 2014 someone will rent that with a GREAT PRINCE.

2011, I'll be maturer and got healthier than 2010. Hahahahaha, I always strict toward my body since 2003. 7 years are long enough to make my body doesn't get proper nutrition. Though I still want to make my weight 55 kg; I will reach that with a proper life. hahahahahaha^^ Some kilos to go and I believe that I can reach that before I graduated. Whaiting!!

2011, I definitely have to get my aesthetic eyelid surgery (my mom said that ssang gah peul sooh sool *that's how they said in Korean hahahaha~). I'm getting tired putting on double eyelid tape on my both eyes. That's why the other biggest hope for 2011 is make someone rent my old house or buy the land near my grandma house. My dad will pay all the surgery process if someone rent it. Aish.... I really want to get bigger and brighter eyes. Aigoo...

2011, I'll always be one and the only independent girl and proud-able daughter for my parents. I will never make them disappointing on me. Though I'm so ignorant; that doesn't mean that I hate them. Though I always think that I'm alone, I know that they always pray for me and support me without show it. Thanks for everything and don't be to worry on me, araso? Hahahaha; I've growth up as a mature lady right now dad, mom. Just pray hard for my prince this year. It's suck for being alone. Hahahahaha...

2011, I'll always be bright HyeRin along with 심장시대 and Bubbly Dee with A-Melody. I'll always sing and love KPOP. Those all the reason for keeping me smile on my sorrow path in 2010; that's why I would never make KPOP away from me.

2011, I know that I would face lotta unpredictable and unforgettable moments too; but I know that I will always be as strong as the previous years. I know that I will cry but I will always find the way to solve it. Hahahaha~~

Hope that 2011 will leave lotta GREAT HAPPY MEMORIES on my life.
Adieu 2010, Welcome 2011.

X.O

Deedee ^^

Someone told me...

2010-10-12T16:53:00.003+07:00

"You're such a leader. Stick to the rule and very formal and respectful to everyone. But to your close friend, you are such a childish and funny person. You try hard on everything. You will not satisfy until you can do it to the level you expect. You have many friends and most of them are older than you. You are lovable among elders but your charm is infinite. You love children, singing and dancing is your life. You will not do anything half way and leave. On the other hand, everything you do must be done and completed perfectly. Reasons come before heart. If you love someone, you will not change your mind or you will keep him in the deepest place in your heart. You love adventure and exercise. You are energetic"

Talking and thinking about what has been told to me, I've just been thinking that person is totally right!!! Especially for the LOVE SIDE analysis.
Today is 12 day before my 21st birthday...Will my dream come true??? Will that person come?? Aishhh~~

Happy Bday Yoochun oppa...

2010-06-05T23:04:00.006+07:00

유천 오빠~~~ Happy 24th Bday!!!! * Are you shocked?? kekekekeke.
I can read that through your face.

Anyway, I know that I should make this right on the June 4th 2010; but I can't. I got lotta things to do and those were sick me off. But, you have to know that I told everyone if that day 's your born day . Don't worry I'm totally remember it,oppa~~ ^^

So please don't put your annoyed face to me... That's not scary at all! Just stop it, put your charismatic face on me, not that cute one... ^^ Drowning myself in your charisma, please.... ^^

Anyway, by this special made posting I just want to say :

♥ Thanks for already being my energy pill almost for two years. Just hearing your husky voice and your charismatic stare are more than enough for lifting me up when I'm having a rough time.
♥ Thanks for being such a great role for me. Your life story's making me strive to move forward in the days.
♥ Thanks for all of the things you have taught me & shown me as a person; by stating lotta inspirational words on any interviews. It's really touch my heart sometimes and give me strength.
♥ Thanks for being a part of TVXQ, one of my 1st favorite ASIAN SINGER ever. If you're never being a part of that group; I'll never know you. Because, FYI you're not the 1st one attracting me. Kekekeke ^^

I don't know what to say. But, I got some notes for you:

♥ Never lose your smile for me, please.. Arasoo??

♥ Never stop your dorky acts please... (That's why I really want your group's case solved soon. So that I can see your 4D's side asap. I miss all the oppa's clumsy and dorky side, esp. Y.O.U)

♥ Stop acting cute around me *though I'm really enjoy it. Just stop it. 네?

♥ Hope you’ll continue to show me various sides of your fashion styles, I love them all! Especially the airport's outfits.

♥ Hope TVXQ will comeback together A.S.A.P. I do love your current group with Jae oppa and Junsu oppa, but have you ever seen your old video? Have you mentioned to yourself:" If I can go back in time… Go back to… let me go back to those unforgettable days…”
Please, remember those memorable times. I believe that you know the best one... Because you know what? No matter what I wanted TVXQ to be apart of me forever;
I WANTED TO ALWAYS KEEP THE FAITH!

Lastly, you'll always be my ideal man... kekekeke ^^ Are you happy now?? Huh??

But, DON'T YOU EVER DARE TO FORGET YOUR PROMISE TO ME about, 알아?? :

유천 오빠 ~ You will always be loved and cherished. I hope you are well and I hope that you realize that you deserve everything in the world. Happy Birthday~~I really appreciate you for always be beside me to give courage and hopes...정말 고마워요...

♥ 믿어요! Deedee 유천 오빠 and 동방신기 사랑해!! ♥

Because you're so STUPID ^^

2010-04-13T00:32:00.008+07:00

너무 너무 보고싶어!!!! ㅠㅜ .. ㅋㅋㅋㅋ

Do you feel the same??? Huh?? Huh?? Ummm...
잘 지내세요???

Anyway, there are so many questions filled my mind, but I didn’t bother to ask any to you. I were content at the given moment... and that’s all I could ask for....^^ *sigh.

It's been a long time for us to gather up and make a good sharing moment like before~~ kekekekekeke... I know; it’s because we can’t and we shouldn’t.

Have you know about this??
"There’s this case of starting out as friends, and then falling in love without knowing it. I fell in love this way, and I’m not sure why it is so *such a weird habit right?. I just felt that it’s really good being with someone who is like me. A person who likes the same things and someone that I would get along with is the type that I would fall for."

Do you know it?? Kekekekeke, I bet that you'll never know. That's why right now, I'll say loudly that YOU'RE SO STUPID~~~
You're so stupid because you don't know, never know~~ ^^
And the baddest part is you have already entered the wrong way; yeah poor you stupid boy...
I can't help you because I know who you are and what you'll do when I start to involve in you private space~~ kekekekeke;
But again may I ask one question to you?

"Why can’t you see that? Is it because you don’t love me in return??."

Yet the thought of losing you's been hanging around my mind; but it's faded a lots and nearly lose out of my brain. I realized that I have no reason to keep my silly wish with you in my heart.
Hell ya~~ Someone told me about the reality of your relationship. ARE YOU HAPPY?? IS THAT YOU'RE FINDING FOR?? I'll wait your answer, dude...
I bet you've already known that you made a mistake but you just can't do anything. Dude~~ you've changed a lot. You're so stupid and you've already outta of my future partner qualification.

Everything that is hidden in lies will always be in my mind. You'll never guess what my poker face wanna say. The most important thing is I hope that my premonition will never be happened. I know that you hate for being hurt again, right?? And now you wanna hurt someone right?
Do you remember when I warned you about you decision dating that girl?? Kekekekekeke.... I'll wait patiently who the right forecaster then, dude~~ As you know you have already hurt me, so you have fulfilled your wish; so you better go before you getting hurt again, lil' boy~~

I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t deny my true feelings anymore. The more I tried, the more I couldn’t. It felt like it was eating me from the inside out if I continued to. I just couldn’t take it anymore, that's the main reason I stop to aim you as one of my target as my future partner.
Love hurts, as everyone says.
It just does....
Remember, whatever happens I’ll always remember you. You and no one else....* just until the one and the only awesome man who is only looking on me comes and defeat your influence toward my mind.

I know that this entry's totally random. Haha~~ yeah that's what this blog's for...

Junsu oppa said that "If you want to be in love, I think the guy should love the girl more and the dating and marriage will last and be happier. Girls should marry someone who loves her more. I'm not saying it's ideal, but I just think that will be happier"
Though Yoochun oppa interrupted him and said that it's impossible; but fot this issue I'm in for Junsu oppa's statement * mianhee Yoochun oppa.. kekekekekeke
That's what my daddy's said too~~

Love doesn't stay put. Start from now, I'll follow what HyoYeon said on Sweet Night show " To men who don't like me, I don't even look at them..."
I'm a kinda girl that always take a little distant toward one who I like. It's totally awkward for me. But, I won't to put my heart in those stupid boy doormat again~~ kekekekeke... I got enough and sick of it~~

So, I gotta off rite now, I gonna reveal another thing later. Most like the silliest thing you'll ever know. Good bye~~~

X.O.X.O

Deedee, The smart girl who ever fallen to stupid boy ^^

Question and information for anyone who read this entry:

"How could love be accompanied by these negative feelings? Why I never knew the answer nor did I want to find out. For me, it was enough to experience them once. And once was all I gave."

Thanks for everything...

2010-03-30T00:24:00.007+07:00

Welcome again my precious life....
Lately, I felt totally depressed with my own feeling toward someone...
But, since two previous days ago; after I came back from a trip; I've just realized that I can't always be a daydreamer...
Being close with you is more than enough for now and ever..
Though I can't always by your side; but change my mind from a lover's back to best friend's one's the best way for keeping you around my life...

Though, sometimes I feel hurt inside looking you with her...
I just can't let that happening again... Today's the last day for me to cry about us...
I'm smiling while I write this entry; though tears are wetting and streaming down my cheeks..
I let everything; all my curiosity to fly away from my mind.
I've just promised myself to be happy when you're happy *though, honestly I feel and see with my own eyes; that you aren't happy with her...
So, I've decided to bury all the things about you. But you should remember that; I'm still here to be your trusted friend and I always lend my ears and mind to help you solve your problem..

I know that you'll be surprised if you know that I've fallen toward you...
Silly rite??
But, it's really happen...
Thanks for showing everything previous days ago about your status with her. I'm hurt; but totally I'm fine... I could smile when I type that sentence...

Making this decision isn't that easy; but since I've come back to my logical mind; I'm surely know what I've done now..
Because I realize that I cannot love you anymore, even though you're so close to me...
It’s too hard for me to be waiting for someone that cannot be mine.
I can’t endure any longer because it will never happen and I know that letting you be happy with her, with honest and sincere feeling from my heart, is the BEST one for me...

I have to stop making myself hurt again...
Making everyone happy is my job in this world... kekekekeke...
I love being stranger alone in the side of my own world looking all the people around my life play around in their game....kekekekeke~~~

The name that I once loved has traveled further away as I remember anything about it,
I write down your name in the deepest side of my chilled heart, holding back tears with sincere smile....
I want to hide it within myself....
Please understand the days when I had no choice but act rude toward you. It will never happen again; trust me...* except I got bad mood in that day... kekekekeke

Please be happy and throw away that annoying aura!! Kekekekeke....
Though you said that everything is alright; you can't lie toward me dude, I know who you are...
I pray that you're happy with her, smile a lot, face up all your problem together and walk hand in hand with her....

Thanks for everything, I'll never forget you as my best friend... kekekekeke *maybe.

A love that was never realized, is still love
But, though sometimes a hurt will come; I'm sure that my chilled heart can endure it.
I'll see you from far away and let everything back same as before...
Be happy and smile a lot!!! kekekekeke

X.O.X.O

Deedee one of smart silly girl in the world

Clueless...

2010-03-26T00:53:00.005+07:00

Suddenly I though about what's happened lately...
And I found that I almost cry every night.
I try to ignore all my curiosity while preparing my departure...
I know that I born to be leaved, to be used, to be hated and betrayed...
Since I was a child; I've learned to sacrifice my happiness for the others...
I always hide my sadness and loneliness toward some people...
That's why I can't trust anybody...
They always think that I'm strong, mature and can solve my problems by myself...
Is that true?
...........

Why could this always happen?
I don't know every night I always remember all the things happening between us...
I know that's totally silly things and not so me
But, I just can't help myself....
As time goes by and I'm starting to go away from you; I feel like I got hurt more and more...
You try to act like nothing happened, that's not your faults but mine. You don't know anything...
But I can't do anything except calming myself and starting build a big wall to cover me.
I think that I've found someone that I can trust on... But you never show it though you said and acted like I'm...
We've shared a lot of things and just "click", though we lack on connection....
That's the uniqueness of our ship
Have a chance to know you are totally a rare moment...
I have lots friends and closes best pals, most of them rely on me so much; I know exactly who they are; but they not....
But you know who I am...

I'm totally clueless....
After that time and everything's settled done; I found that you're changed. I don't know whether me or you do that...
I feel like I've just found someone I can running to when I was sad and happy...
But, I can't do that.. I won't to disturb your life....
I really wanna go....
I think it's better than I act cold and arrogant toward you....
I hate myself for being like this....
My heart said that I should stay and act like nothing happen in my heart...
I can't...

We meet almost for everyday,
sometimes looking your tired face making me think about what's the matter on you.
You come to my dream, though I never think about you...
I know that can't impose the same things for you....
I just won't to lost you as a friend....
I just won't to ruin anything; for someone you trusted to the hated one.

It's totally hurt me and I can't endure anymore...
I'm clueless; and want to act normally toward you... I just can't
When you asked me whether I'm okay or not; surely I really wanna talk to you like before. But I can't and act weird toward you...
I know it's hurt you but what should I do??
I really wanna go away so that I can't see what happen again....

The only one that can answer my curiosity is you...
But I know I mustn't ask anything...
Hurting myself is the only way for me to make anything better; that's my motto...
I want to hide it within myself....
Please understand the days, when I had no choice but to act cold toward you
A feeling that was never realized, is still here and growing bigger...

I've promised myself; that I won't cry anymore....
I won't see my tears but my heart's paining....
The way to solve this unsolved thing is walking away from you...
I won't to lose you but I totally clueless why I always act weird toward you...
Geez!!!! I ever think that you really know me; but it seems like you're not...
You really make a " heartquake" in my heart...

Should I always being used and betrayed for the whole of my life?
Should I always being hurt by my loving peoples....
Why do I always sacrifices anything for the other happiness??
What does this tear for??
How could I act cold toward you?
I should go.. I really should go...
I'm gonna move on... Will today be the last day??
Thanks for everything....
You should know; losing you means " The worst thing I ever had"
I can't said anything to you.. I'm scared...
If only you read all the entries of my blog; you'll know how curious and care I about you...

Clueless and silly girl,

Deedee

You better run!!!

2010-03-18T11:32:00.002+07:00

This is for all the fake girls around my life. You better watch out with who I am. See my devil smile above and you should know who you are. You just a door mat on my feet. Kekekekekeke... May be this sounds so arrogant but I don't care. I care some peoples so much. I won't they got hurt. I hate something mine being ruin by a witches like you chicks!!!

Behave. You're too much of a bad girl.
You're too curious.
I was cheated on at that time,
all because of you.

No fun, no manners.
You, devil, devil, you, you.

You act such a good girl but you are not
Made up that you're cool and kind
I've known everything

I can smell the stink of perfume on you.
Explain to me,what will you gonna do??

That habit of you faking all things and backstabbing
without me knowing, still didn't go away?
Even if you run, it's obvious.

You better run, run, run, run, run.
I won't give in, I'll just kick you.

You better run, run, run, run, run.
Even if you beg me not to curse you, I don't care anymore.

I'll come back even better
and I'll get revenge. Don't forget it.

You better run, run, run, run, run.
You're caught, and I'm angry 'caused you steal something for me.
It makes me crazy all the time!!
Run, devil, devil, run, run.

Even next to me,
you're with that mask and pretend that you are good girl
When I'm not here,
you're a super baddest.
Raise your chin, and respond to me; what's your plan anyway!!

There's no one else like me, anywhere.
You made a mistake.
I'm so much better than you.
What do you want to do with all that? Do you think you're that great?
Didn't I tell you not to play around?
Didn't I tell you to be good to me until I getting what you've stolen from me?

You better run, run, run, run, run.
I won't give in, I'll just kick you.

You better run, run, run, run, run.
Even if you beg me not to take it, I don't care anymore.

You better run, run, run, run, run.
There's so many guys in this world,
but for this moment I won't lose it...
Until the day get it,
I'll play my secret game behind you and win my own game and yours...

Go read and learn biatch!

Deedee

I think I've known the answer....

2010-03-17T09:37:00.004+07:00

Last night I felt like I've known the answer of my current question.
I know that may be this was too fast to predict what's the mystery behind all the things happen lately.
I don't know whether this is true or not, but I think it's totally better to think in this way then playing around with my own mind..

Suddenly I realized that I did wrong.
I shouldn't push something that doesn't work for me.
It's better for me to let everyone happy not only think about your happiness but also someone liking you with all her heart.
I know that we know each other well, but I won't to make this feeling way go too far...
It's better for me to think that your such a brother and best guy friend. Not more than that.
You take care of me because I take care of you.
I'm so sorry if someday I'll act weird or cold toward you.
As I said, I'll be the dumbest when I step my feet on LOVE line
I've got enough for being hurt with my own feeling.. It's totally suck.
I don't know why should I do this to you.. This is totally wrong. I know it.

Honestly there's something in my mind. Did you play around with me everyday?
Sometimes, I think the answer is totally YES; but I try to ignore it and try to not hear it and just go.
Looking at you with sad and tired face really make my heart aching. I know I shouldn't feel like that because your nobody for me. But I can't stop it and it keeps repeating.
Even I try to let it go, but half of my heart still pushing me to keep my believe on you.
I'm not that kinda girl, but I'm totally fragile.
Every time I try to stop; I'm surely know that's wrong; I'll be back to your side again.

It's totally ashamed but, I can't help myself.
It's nice to talk to you; but sharing my stories to you really make me aching more and more. Because I always think about the repeated chance.
You told me that I should tell you my problem; but have you done the same things?
I'm not that strong. I'm holding on my pride though my body is totally cracked and astrayed...
I've been being tricked by love yet wiping my tears in the night. I know I shouldn't do this silly things but I can't help myself again.
Though I trust you; I feel like I was your toy's playing and tossing around by you. But I still can keep my smile on you.
I won't burden you with lotta things. I know that you've owned lotta things burdening you.
I want to be someone you can run too; though you have somebody beside you; I'm sure that you're more comfortable to talk to me...
I don't know whether this is true or not but I feel like that.
If you wanna throw your ego; I'm sure that you'll come to me or cry in front of me.

I don't know whether I should call you a heart breaker or not. I just can't keep my own words sometimes.
I really trust you. I even cry in front of you; and you are the one that can calm me down.
That's the prove that you're the wanted one.
This is sin and black hole for me.
Gezz... confusing and damn bad! I hate being like this.

X.O.X.O

Deedee

What I've been thinking lately...

2010-03-15T22:57:00.003+07:00

I meet LOVE = Dumbest girl in the world.
I've been thinking lotta things lately.
I don't know how's my real feeling toward that guy. And the most important thing is I mustn't have any special feeling with that guy!!!

But, far inside my heart told me that he's one that I've been waiting and finding for so long... Ottoke??
Getting him means I meet my partner passing all my check list. But is that alright??

I always ask myself about why he does these and those to me... Honestly, what he's done make me think that he has something to be shown toward me. But, again and again I just can't do anything.
Half of my heart's really wanna ask you about what I do mean for you; but I just can't do that. I won't to ruin anything. I won't ruin my image in front of you.
The main reason why I act cold is based on what you do to me...
The main reason why I do random things are totally based on you...
You aren't mine and I'm not yours.. So, there's nothing I can do...
If only you could know what I truly feel... But, I won't let it happen. You should always remember that I won't never let anyone know what I think. Though, I know that you know who I am; but I would never give you any special things...

As long as you want to play around; I won't show my real feeling toward you...
I'll play on my own game too...
Seeing you happy and smile widely are the main reason of my happiness.
I just want to see you be yourself and face up everything with a brave heart
You will always be welcomed to come and tell everything to me. Never said that I should share my problems to you, but you won't... I will never then...
You should know that, I will wait how far this feeling will stay on me...
And I will wait how far you wanna be a fake person and enjoy living in that damn circle...
I'll be watching over you and make sure that I can be the first person reaching out a hand when you fall...

I still waiting for the answer of the question of my heart...

X.OX.O

Deedee

Did I make a mistake???!!! Geezzz....

2010-02-17T18:20:00.004+07:00

Did I do a mistake???
I just realized that I do something that I shouldn't do.... Ottoke???
Lately I'm being confused with my own mind
I don't know whether worrying about it's necessary or not. I just think that this is wrong!

You should know that I'm a kind of person loving to give an appreciation for the people who are really deserve to received it. I did that for you because you are.
I know that you're a kind of complicated person, same as I do; but sometimes I think that you're a silly creation who overly dumb when interpreting something.

I don't know what's really on my heart...
I can't tell anyone, lotta mysteries lay in there; I've just not found the way to reveal anything...
Should I try again to take a backward steps toward you??
I'd done that before, but every times it's almost completed, you will always do something that awes me.... Geez!!! That's totally damn bad!

How could that happen??? How could you do this to me??
The most important thing is why I could fall in this black hole...
You should know that I do pray everyday that you're doing okay.
I do that because I care about you and half of my heart feel that you're really need someone to cure your scars...
I can't force you to recognize what I think and how's my feeling to you...
I just hope that everything will be alright between us; and you always be happy and secure.
I will always watch you over....
Let the time shows the answer of the question in my heart....*sigh

This is so depressing,

Deedee

I changed my blog's layout!!!

2010-02-16T14:42:00.009+07:00

Hi everyone!!!!
How are you doing???
Campus hectic day has started again.. kekekekekeke... I take 10 classes this semester. Too much?? kekekekekeke

I hope that everything will be alright this semester and I can find more incredible moment and memorable things making me more mature.... I feel that I'm growing farther toward some peoples.. But, honestly kekekeke... I don't really care about it....

I know that this semester will be more challenging than the other, I start to prepare my second internship from this semester again. I plan to do that with one of my colleague, Bella. I wish that everything will be alright. I wanna be graduated and got my degree a.s.a.p!!

And, though all of my friends will be busy as I do; I hope that some day, that person will recognize that it shouldn't be done! I'm here always waiting for you and will support everything you'll do... Stop playing around and grow up, please!!! 아, 난 미쳤어?????
사랑해요......

I've changed this blog layout!! 어때요?

X.O.X.O

Deedee

Anyone can change including me....

2010-01-15T22:18:00.004+07:00

Hi!!!!! What's up!!!
Yey!!! I've done my 1st Internship Program!!!
I'll be very busy starting from this week due to 2009 Communication Camp's Preparation and my 1st Internship's final report..

Whoaaaaa...... someone helps me please!!! kekekekekeke...

I hope that I can finish everything and do my best for all the burdened things on my shoulder!! Deedee, whaiting!!!

I found that lotta people feel like they've been burdened with lotta things. It makes them change some side of their self to avoid or face it.

I found that I change lately. I become more ignorant to other and keepin' everything just for myself. I do like that before. But for now, I found that the level is getting higher.

I found out that I smile a lot more than before, but suddenly I can't smile anymore...
I found out I never cry again. And I forget the way to cry...
I found out that I forget the way to trust someone...
I found that I've changed a lot... I don't really care about the others perspective more than before...
I found that I walk more into my own path than one that's settled for me...

I changed alot and I realized it... I meet lotta people changed but they don't feel it...
Bwahahahahahahaha... So, how could that happen???

It's tiring me... I have lotta things in my mind but I can't express it...
Oh.. I found out that I not more in to LOVEY DOVEY things again. I'm starting to believe that love doesn't exist...bwahahahahaah... What a Deedee's life!!!

X.O.X.O

Deedee
Sleep tight!!!!!!

What did I do to face up 2010??? kekekekeke^^

2010-01-02T13:44:00.006+07:00

What should I do??????

Way to go to buy some foods..... The road was too uninteresting...

These are totally a HEAVEN!!!!! Kyaaaaaa.......

Did we but too many things??? Oh Corn Flakes!!!!!!!

Way to back home... It's raining!!!!!

To many things to be handled tonight.... Kyaaaaaaaaaa.....

Stop dieting just for one day! Kekekekekekeke^^ (This was totally a sin!)

Getting ready to do to the church
Oh NOOOO!!!!! The Girls Generations absorbed the fat of the foods!!! Kyakyakya....
I love making a mess whenever I cook!! ^^ Remember, I would never wanna clean that mess... kekekekekeke^^

Ready to be served!! Goodbye messed kitchen!!

French Fries, Spicy Garlic Chicken Nugget,Sausage, Mayo, Sweet and Spicy sauce, Death Dee sauce!!!! LOVELY!!! Heaven here I came!!!

This was incredible, I never fall to sleep after eating bunch of food. But, today's a special moment, I wanna sleep though this was not good for the body!! Kyakyakyakyakya.... Annyong... Sleep tight!! Sweet dream....

2010 1st sunshine from my room's window...

My morning bloated face...

Leave me alone!!! I haven't brushed my teeth!!! kyakyakyakya.....

Was that fun??? Kyakyakyakya....

X.O.X.O

Deedee, happy new year!!!!!!! ♪♪♪

2010-01-01T22:08:00.004+07:00

I make this 2010's resolution before I cooked some meal for my daddy. Kekekekek... There's nothing special in my home to face up the new year. So, in the afternoon; me and my daddy decided to buy some food and plan to cook that before the 2010 come.
Actually, I wanna post this yesterday; but I'm too tired to connect my lappie to the internet, so I posted that now...kekekekeke...

I have 13 points, I just love anything in four. Kekekeke... 1+3 means 4. Here they are:

1. Lose some weight again….maybe about 20 pounds
2. Get better GPA
3. Be calmer and happier
4. Be more mature and know how to act toward people I don’t like.
5. Get healthier skins
6. Get better mood day by day
7. Get closer to my old and new friends.
8. Smile a lot
9. Make my parents more proud of me
10. Get better 2nd Internship place and someone wanna accompany me
11. Get better amount of my pocket money
12. Make up my relationship with GOD
13. Meet my “partner”; one who can talk with and support me to head the cruel life.

31 December 2009
09.17 pm

X.O.X.O
Deedee
Hope I can reach all my resolutions.... kekekekekekeke

Another Quotes...

2009-12-29T16:56:00.005+07:00

안녕하세요?
I'm currently in my 1st internship place. Kekekekekeke...
I had nothing to do right now... Kyaaaaaa.....
It's tiring so mucho... I hate when I got nothing to do.
I love the place, but being useless like this really starting me going crazy...
Nah.. nah.. nah...

But, anyway I found something while I tried to throw away my sleepiness...
These words are really inspiring me, here they are:

"Don’t waste your time worrying about boys.
Boys will come and go.
Don’t waste your time caring about the people who don’t like you.
Chances are you don’t like them either.
Don’t waste your time worrying if people are talking about you.
You affected their lives, they didn’t affect yours.
Waste your time with anything you love.
Live for the moment, laugh often, be mature, do anything and everything.
If it’s something you’ll regret in the morning, sleep late
and when you wake up, laugh about it,
cause yourself are what matter most.
When you have healthy heart, you'll have everything."

X.O

Deedee, Love ya.....

Another Sad Story...

2009-12-27T22:42:00.003+07:00

Hi...
How's your life going??
Anyway, I've just completed and sent my Mid-1st Internship Report. Thanks to my beloved friend, Ismi... muach.. muach.. Chinca gomawo~~yooo....

Honestly, nowadays my melancholic side is really in the high level. I hate it! Really this is sicking me out!!

I starting to hate my life again. I've got enough of this fucking annoying peoples and I can't do nothing.

Am I that bad?? Have I changed like you said?? It's better to find another sweet child if you think that I'm not one that can make you happy and proud later.
I really hate when people getting angry for nothing and throwing me into their anger.
I've growth up, I can decide anything that I want to do. I don't need those messages asking about how's my life, what am I doing etc...
It's really annoying man!!

The more you said that I've changed. The more I'll act strange and so damn annoying.
Go, I let you find another life, another people loved by you, another kids and all the things you want and deserve...

You always think that I'm rebel and ignorant child. Yes, I do...
Life and your words really have made it!
Never expect anything to me... I'll live and born living on my own world...

I decide to keep in touch with you, I try my best to respect your words; only because I need some of things that I can fulfill by myself right now...
You said that you're care of me, but you always make me sick of you...
You better go and find your another life...
Really, I think you deserve lotta things better then now..

Thanks for being a "good figure" for me.... Haha (Talk to my hand....)

X.O.X.O

Deedee

All I Want In Christmas...

2009-12-25T22:31:00.004+07:00

Merry Xmas everyone!!!!! I hope that Santa Clause granted all your wish!! Kekekeke...

Anyway, how's your Xmas eve? For me... This event's nothing...

Lonely... Empty... Lotta things in my mind...

I've just come back from the church with my Dad. Actually, I met lotta old friends, but again I did not feel any happy moment.

Kekekekeke...

There's no one can be talked to rite now.. So, I start to post an entry to cheer myself.. Kekekeke...Life is getting hard again for me... I mean, ummmmmmmm.... I don't know what should I do to fill this emptiness..

It's feel like I had found the one who can be talked to.. but that's wrong idea... Kyaaaa!!!! It's like I was more in to that person than that person to me.... Gezzz.... Poor me.. TT

I think I lost my mind... I think I lost my mind... Go go go, go away.....

" Dear, Santa... Can I make a wish this year....
May be I wasn't being a good girl this year... But I'll try my best to be more mature and patient next year. But, can I say something??
Santa, I hope that near or far, I can found someone who can make me comfortable and share anything with...I promise that I will make that person be the happiest person in this world, and we can walk hand in hand to face up this cruel world. I promise that I'll never be annoying girl and will support anything that will be done by that person. Kekekekekekek... I've known already what should the partner do, but no one's recognized that. Kekekekek...Really I've been tired to being lonely like this... X.O-Deedee"

My Sudden Reflection...

2009-12-21T22:42:00.002+07:00

Wohoy~~~~ 만세!!!!!

What's up, guys??? It has been a long time not updating my blog. How's your life going?? Does everything alright???

Right now, I'm in the middle of my holiday; but this isn't same with the previous before. kekekekeke... I'm enjoying my 1st Internship program right now. Though, sometimes I feel bored on the office; but so far everyone is so kind to me... I love my 1st Internship's place!!! I love all the people there too....

Anyway, this entry is not made to tell about my 1st Internship program; but for more complicated issue of my life...

Kekekekeke... may be this is not that complicated but.... I hate when I should face up this kind of issue..

I think I fall in to the same trap again...

I don't know what to do... This is one of my weakness. Glad of you if you read this entry, you can know one of my weakness.

Geezzzz.... How could this happen again?? Right now, I can tell that, LOVE; is not on my first priority of life. But.. can I survive not fall in to someone???

I don't know what's the feeling in my heart... Is that L.O.V.E or just a L.O.N.E.L.Y feeling and that guy can fullfil my emptiness..

Should I erease it?? Should I deny that I'm not that strong to avoid it??

I still a human!!!! Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The biggest thing is.... this guy is so hard to ( I can continue this entry....)

Annyong.... I should think more about the consequenses, if I try to enter this game..

X.O.X.O

Deedee

Kekekekekeke....♪♪

2009-12-07T14:42:00.006+07:00

♥
소원을, 말해봐, 봐, 봐!
소원을, 말해봐, 봐, 봐!
소원을, 말해봐, 봐, 봐!
내게만, 말해봐, 봐, 봐!

"가끔은 혼자이고 싶어"

Lalalalalala... I just want to post up something here... Kekekekekeke.. my mind, my soul and my heart suddenly won't to work in the proper way.. Kekekeke... That's why I feel so crazy rite now.. Kekekekekeke... I want to dedicate this posting for someone there... Bwahahahahaah...

Read and learn! Enjoy....Kekekekeke....

When I encounter you
My heart becomes like a Roller coaster Ride.
It shakes obliviously,
Then it returns back to its proper place.
Up and down,
Yes, I’m goin' down down.
Our status
That will never stop spinning.
It's also confusing and oblivious,
So Let’s get down.

When you’re by my side,
I'm obliviously happy.
But the moment when we’re apart
I become depressed, I must be crazy.
Tell me why?
Why must we do this?
Perhaps we’re thinking the same thing, so Bring it!

My mind is out of control .
I just can’t take it no more.
Tonight I won’t let you go .
I gotta say:

Please don’t go,
Stay by my side.
Tonight, I don’t wanna be alone
Please don’t go,
You have to stay.
So my feelings towards you
Will last an eternity...

Let’s ride,
Till we reach the opposite side of the night
Let’s fly,
Till the sunrise
One step n two step
To the left
One step n two step
To the right

Yes, I'm the baddest female the world ever had
Just mail me your feelings with caution
Say what's on your mind, so I can understand
Tonight, I just wanna stay by your side
Those nights when I can't sleep,
Feels like an eternity to me.
If you understand my heart,
Then why you wanna leave me?
As a girl, I can't take the initiative to hold you back.
Care on me, hold me. love me, don't tease me

I like when people are truthful,
That’s just how I’m.
I approached you sincerely
But you ended up avoiding me.
Round n Round
Yes We’re going round n round
I see myself getting tired from waiting.
The two of us are repeating it day by day, so bring it!

My mind is out of control .
I just can’t take it no more.
Tonight I won’t let you go .
I gotta say:

Please don’t go,
Stay by my side.
Tonight, I don’t wanna be alone
Please don’t go,
You have to stay.
So my feelings towards you
Will last an eternity....

Let’s ride,
Till we reach the opposite side of the night
Let’s fly, fly
Till the sunrise
One step n two step
To the left,
One step n two step
To the right

I get insecure when I miss you.
I got scared that you might leave.
Please don’t leave,
Stay my by side....

Annyong!!!! See ya.... Hope you read it.. Kekekekekekekekekekeke....

X.O

Deedee ♥

After Party's Effect...

2009-10-26T19:35:00.000+07:00

만세! Deedee comes again!!! It has been 2 days after my turning point time!! I still feel the vibe!!!

I'm totally happy today!! Although I didn't sleep last night and kept opening my eyes 'till 8 a.m this morning; then took a bath and quickly heading my campus to meet my mentor; It works!! It's paid!! My 1st internship's proposal's accomplished!!! Thanks so much.. I feel like turning 20's really bring lotta lucky charm for my life. May be it's because of my pray to GOD. This year, I didn't ask lotta things to HIM like what I did previous years. I just want to enjoy this life and see lotta surprises. And, I can feel it the effect right now...

I know that right now my relationship with GOD's totally worst!! But, before I started to make my proposal yesterday; I don't know why I made my head down and asked HIS guidance toward me. And the result's totally AWESOME!!! I just think that.. um.. I don't know what to say...although I'm far away from HIM, HE just... Damn!!!

I won't be flown to high with all these beautiful moments. I just want to enjoy it and let my life flow like a river.. Less stress, less cry, less mellows time..
More smiles, more laughs, more great moods, more cheers...

Thanks for letting me grow mature and heading the new world with new perspective...

너무 흥분돼
(I'm so excited.....)

너무 좋아... 너무 좋아..
(I like it.. I like it...)

X.O, Fresh Young Adult Deedee

My Memorable 20th Bday

2009-10-24T21:23:00.004+07:00

안녕! Hi!!! Deedee is here...

Whoa!!!! I'm turning 20 today!!! How could that be that fast??? Huks... Huks....

Anyway, this B-day's totally outta of my prediction. Firstly, I though that nothing's special would happen. But... Geez.. I would never forget all the things happening today.

I will proudly tell everything by this blog, so I can re-read that again one day. Gladly, I represent this post without any complaining words... kekekekeke....

The most shocking part's when The Binal couple (Agung and Cipoy), Tia, Van2 and Pri came in my boarding house at 1.am!!! Gezzz!!! Thanks for everything guys!! Anyway, I knew that your mission's totally failed caused by my dead sleepy head roomate, Lisa. She's totally tired yesterday cause by her hectic schedule, that's why she couldn't pick your phone. KEKEKEKEKEKE.... And I picked your phone then.. Kekekekek.... Ups, don't forget to kill her when you come to my place later. She ruined your plan! Remember that!!! (smirk)
Thank for the suprise, that paparazi moments (i love the flashing moment!!! Gegegegegege.. when would I being striked by 2 DSLR cameras just by opening the door again??? kekekekekeke), that chocolate B-day sponge cake, and that pair of new shocking pink converse sneaker!!!---> I can wash my other sneaker now....Hohohohohoho....(Look at that picture!!!) Love those so mucho!!!
Thanks for the memorable moment and the gift.... It's the fist time in my life my friends coming in the middle of the night and giving me a surprise!!! Kekekekeke....

The other surprise came from Miss Wike. Thank you Miss, for humiliating me by pushing me to read your prank words!!! Kekekeke...*kidding. I would never forget it, mam!! Oh... thanks for letting me felt like a little kid again (remembering my happy kindergarten's time). I totally touched when everyone in class was happily singing HAPPY BDAY song for me.... That's silly right??? But, that's awesome!! Kekekekeke... Thank you, Mam!! I really appreciate it!!

This my great B-day ever, though I was far away from my parents; but with bunch of attention from my friends it felt so GREAT!!! Lotta peoples shook my hand, congratulated me and I smiled a lot.... Kekekekekeke....Thanks!!!

I can't count about how many people have posted their wishes in my Facebook's wall. Guys!!! I don't know what to say except THANK A LOT!!! LOVE...LOVE... LOVE...You're 짱!!!!! Though my fingers getting tired replying yours, but I like it!!! When will I experience this again???? Kekekekkek... And all the people who congratulated me by SMS, thank lotta lotta too!!!!

Thanks to The Binal couple (Agung and Cipoy), Tia, Amel, Van2, Erin, Elisa, Philip and Eva for the time (and some silly moment between "you" and "you". Kekekeke... That's totally entertain me!!! Grow up my babies!!! Kekekekekeke... Guys, you're older that me, so stop being silly!! *who's them??? wkwkwkwkkwkwk). I hope that treat was more that enough. I know that lately everyone was busy, so I prefer to do that today. And you!!! Bebek and Fro!!! Damn with dieting thing!!! Why you won't come!!! ???Hiks....

Kiki, Meme"Ismi"(Where are you??????), Bella!!! Your treat is coming!!! Kekekekekeke.... Just pick the right moment later...

Lisa!! Manda!! Ketty!!! You too guys!!!

Last, I would say... THANK YOU VERY VERY MUCH!!! 고마워!!! Hope all your wishes and prays for my upcoming life come true!! Thank for all the attention. I'm totally the happiest girl in the world today!!! Hope that I can keep this memory forever; so that my mood will always be great... Kekekekekeke....

I think being 20 isn't that bad *like what I've posted in the previous posting... Kekekekeke... I won't to wish lotta things this year. I just want to enjoy it and see more surprises. Right now I'll pick up a different start to face up my future, 180 degree different than the last years...

Good nite.... Byooooooong!!!!! ♪♪♪
NOTE: All the pictures here taken on October 24th 2009 after came back from my campus...

What I wore today....

Eating the rest of my Choco B'day Sponge cake

The day running to fast... I'm sad that tomorrow will come. What's happen today will be in my heart... Kekekekeke.. * being mellow for a second

BYE-BYE!!!!!! X.O.X.O
LOTTA LOTTA KISSES FROM MY LIPS

Today Happiest Fresh Young Adult, Deedee

Getting 20 for nothing.. Maybe...

2009-10-21T14:44:00.003+07:00

안녕하세요? 미소천사 Deedee here!!!!
It's been a long time to coming!! But I'm here again now!!! kekekekekeke...

Yeah... 3 days before my birthday.. I'll be older, reaching 20 years old.. It's totally freaking me out!!! I won't get old!! I wanna be a Tinkerbell!!! T.T

Honestly, I don't know which the special part of getting 20. Lotta people here told that being 20 means that you've already mature and being young adult. You must be burdened with lotta things and responsible with what you've done.

Geezz.. I know that whenever I posted something here, it will always be a complain posting. I don't know why that could be... Kekekeke... Mostly, what I've posted here; it's something that won;t be told by me to anyone by usual conversation. Kekekekekekekeke... I won't the other peoples see me as a fragile girl. Nope!!! I won't allowed that!!

Back to my upcoming 20th Bday....
Hmmpphhhh... I don't know what would happen this year....

Will my friend give a suprise again?? Totally I don't care...
Will my Mom give me a gift??? Totally I don't care...(Thanks Dad for that extra money... kekekekekeke, it's more than enough; though I won't refuse whenever you add some again)
Will someone say that he's totally my secret admirer??? Again... I don't care...
Will Yoochun oppa meet me?? umm.... If it was happen.. Damn God, that's totally my biggest gift ever... Gegegegegegegegege....

I know that may be I will accidentaly forget that this Saturday's my Bday. Tomorrow will be a hectic day. Another suck MPR's subject work group... Damn with those crazy young ladies... I'm a perfectionist girl too bitch.. But you guys are totally freaking crazy...Friday, I wanna complete my 1st internship proposal and do my Stakeholder Relations CSR's task....And the Saturday will come.. And I can't guess what gonna happen..

See how univ's really killing me this day... Sometimes I wanna do to Korea.. Um nope... I hope that I was born in Korea... Still have talents like what I have and went to the all audition of all Entertainment Agencies such as SM, JYP, YG and the other; I wouldn't stop until one of them accepted me... So, I will never spend my time like now...

It's totally boring....

I need more interesting things!!! My life is totally damn flat!!! I hate it!!

DIETING... TASKS.... FAKE FRIENDS... SUCK BESTFRIENDS... STUPID BOYS... QUEENLY CHICKS...UNREACHED DREAMS.....BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH.....KYAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

Quotes for today :

널 처음 본 순간부터
만지고 싶었나봐 가지고 싶어
(The moment I saw you I wanted you and only to be mine )
Note: Totally waiting someone said that to me in a manly and gentle way!! Yey!!!!

X.O.X.O

Deedee the Super Freaking Crazy Upcoming Young Adult

LONG TIME NO SEE.....

2009-09-01T13:20:00.005+07:00

Long time no see~~~~

Kekekekekekeke... i open this newest posting by Junsu oppa famous engrish quotes which he usually says in their concert.

How are you guys??? I don't know is there any peoples read this blog or not; but I gladly said that I'm doing really great. But, lately I think about something.

Honestly, I kinda silly girl loving to keep bad memories... I don't know why I love to keep that kind of useless things. When lotta people wanna forget their miserable life, I love to keep that in my head and let that comes whenever that wanna come in.

Getting a hard life is just like a piece of cake for me. I tend to be easy going girl and always walk on my way. As time goes by i realize that I don't really care what the other thinks about me. I don't really care what will happen if I do this and that. I do that because I want too.

Being as the only child of my family makes me always think that though I'm girl; I'm not that "kinda" girl. I would never let anyone underestimates me... I would do anything to reach my will and always want to be irreplaceable.

For me life is just a game that created by GOD.

I know that this post contains with random words... But I really love to write this kinda post. One that can make peoples know about me more and think about what I said here.

The quotes for today (dedicated for all boys who never realize when someone falls in to them,eat this up!!!) :

i let out my breathe to the sky
the red sunset must have entered my eyes
i keep rubbing them, but it doesn’t go away
i try to hold it in, but it keeps hurting and hurting

if somethings happens to me, know that it’s your fault
because you wanted bad things to happen to me

if meet some one else, will you please be unhappy
i’ll pray for it

i try to erase you and erase, but it still feels like you’re by my side
it feels like you’re the only thing i can’t forget
i’ll let go of everything else
i curse myself for being so stupid
a sinner who loved you

I think it's enough for today.... Recently, Yoochun oppa often update his cyworld. I think I should do the same way too. It's better to release that than keep it by my self, rite???

X.O.X.O.XXXXX.....OOOOOO

Deedee

I want to tattoo my body...

2009-08-07T19:08:00.001+07:00

I found that Yoochun and Jaejoong made a new tatto in their chest. Oh my God!!! It wrote "ALWAYS KEEP THE FAITH"

Gezz, I'm really scared about JaeChunSu v.s SM.Ent's fuckin' problem about their slave contract things. The most important thing is I worry about TVXQ assistance later. Gezz, I just couldn't imagine if JaeChunSu leave SM and lost in the case; I would never can see JAECHUNSUHOMIN together again. That's not fair!!!! Please God let JaeChunSu win the case...

Back to Soul mate Couple's new tattoo. Looking on their new tattoo; really make me wanna make that one. Really, since 3 years ago I wanna make one tattoo on my left ankle. I wanna make a tiny butterfly and grave "Dee" below that tiny butterfly. Kekekekekek....

I do really want to make one!!!! But, the most important thing is about the hurt. I've got lotta piercing already; but I'm not brave enough to hurt my self yet to hurt my self by making a tattoo..

I really want to make that thing one, but I'm scare of it!!!!

Kekekekekekeke....

Peace out,

Deedee

I got tagged with Teri Unnie!!!

2009-08-03T21:24:00.003+07:00

I got tagged with Teri Unnie....

1.The phone rings; who do you want it to be?
My mom told me that she wanna give me extra money pocket. kekekekeke....

2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
Not always ^^

3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener?
In between... kinda settled by my mood and the person

4. Do you take compliments well?
Um.. I donnu

5. Do you play Sudoku?
Nope!!! I hate number things!!!

6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive?
Alone???? ALONE??? I dunno!!! But I think I can...

7. Do you like to ride horses?
I've tried it... And I like it...

8. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?
Of course yes!!!

9. What was your favorite game as a kid?
Barbie!!! That's not a game!!! Um.... Sega!!

10. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was married, would you go for it? Am I that crazy??? I'm still young!!!

11. Have you lied to get out of a date?
I don't even know what date feels like!!!

12. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you?
Um... NOPE.

13. Do you like to pursue or be pursued?
Be pursued, I hate being follower

14. Use three words to describe yourself?
Cool, cold, unpredictable
.
15. Do any songs make you cry?
Yes!!!!!! Wish sang by Xiah, Max, KyuHyun and Ryewook. I really hope that one day someone will sing that for me.

16. Are you continuing your education?
Yes!

17. Do you know how to shoot a gun?
Heh??? Like a cowboy??? Or like Power Ranger???Kekkekekeke...

18. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grabbed?
My cell phone

19. How often do you read books?
I read book all the time!!! I collect it!

20. Do you think more about the past, present or future?
I love to dream, think and muse.. So equal for everything!!! **

21. What is your favorite children's book?
All Ramona Quimby's Series

22. What color are your eyes?
Super Dark Brown.

23. How tall are you?
170 cm

24. Where is your dream house located?
Micky Yoochun place... ^^

25. Do you have a secret fetish?
Of course, I do!!!

26. Have you tried sushi?
I love sushi. Any kind of sushi especially the raw one!!!

27. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth?
Yes, kinda addicted too

28. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden?
Huh???

29. When was the last time you were at Church?
Um... Should I tell you???

30. Where was the furthest place you traveled today?
A cafe near my place?

31. What was your favorite job?
Sleeping

32. Do you like mustard?
Nope... I prefer mayonise

33. Do you prefer to sleep or eat?
SLEEP.

34. Do you look like your mom or dad?
Um.. In what way???

35. How long does it take you in the shower?
10 till an hour

36. Can you do the splits?
Nope...

37. What movie do you want to see right now?
Um... I don't really like watch movie

38. If you could fast forward your life, would you?
Yes, of course... I really wanna know who's my price charming..

39. What did you do for New Year's?
NOTHING..

40. Do you think The Grudge was scary?
Umm... I dont think so..

41. Could you relate to a character in Mean Girls?
Um... I wanna be the Lindsay's role!!!

42. Do you own a camera phone?
Of course I have...

43. Do you have an "ex box" with pics and letters from past lovers?
Nope... Never have a boyfriend though...*sigh

44. Was your mom a cheerleader?
She's ballerina...

45. What's the last letter of your middle name?
A

46. Do you like your middle name?
I love it so much...

47. How many hours of sleep do you get a night?
It's depend...

48. Do you like care bears?
*nods...nods..

49. What do you buy at the movies?
Popcorns and mineral water!!!

50. Do you know how to play poker?
Nope...

51. Do you wear your seatbelt?
Yes...

52. What do you wear to sleep?
Pajamas or cute short dress

53. Anything big ever happen in your hometown?
accidents, kidnapping, boms, fire...etc...

54. How many meals do you eat a day?
ONE.. I'M ON DIET....

55. Is your tongue pierced?
No... just my ears...3 in right side and 2 in the left side.

56. Ever meet anyone you met on myspace?
Nope... Does it appropriate to meet someone from cyber world???

57. Do you read myspace bulletins?
Absolutely NOT!

58. Do you like funny or serious people better?
I like both of them

59. Ever been to L.A.?
I really want to!!!!1

60. Did you eat a cookie today?
Nope...candies yes!!!

61. Do you use cuss words in other languages?
YES!!! Kekekekee ^^

62. Do you steal or pay for your music downloads?
Steal. ^^

63. Do you hate chocolate?
I love choco!! The darkest and the bitterest is the best!!!

64. What do you and your parents fight about the most?
Um.. pocket money???

65. Are you a gullible person?
um... for some things...kekekeke... about 40 %. Sumtimes, I act innocent too...

66. Do you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy?
Um... For some reasons YES, but I think I need more reliable and trustworthy person now...

67. If you could have any job what would it be?
Singer or writer or Great Public Relations..

68. Are you easy to get along with?
Nope.. I rather be picky..kekekeke

69. What is your favorite time of day?
Night!!!

Finish!!!!!!!

Note : I'm so sad... Phew... Hope that TVXQ will stay for forever!!!

My Dream Man

2009-07-26T00:18:00.003+07:00

Annyong!!!! Still on my holiday!!!! Arggghhh!! I meet one of my crush yesterday!! I tried to avoid him. I acted that I didn't see him. But, dunno cupid said NO. I met him again, face by face and I have to greet him. He with his mom and his sister too. He got fatter..
Gezz, it was totally um... I don't know what to say. But, half of my heart still like him.*if only he hadn't had a girlfriend yet!!!!

So let me release some of my stressfulness and happiness. As I told you, and some of my friends know about my craziness toward TVXQ. Yeah!!! Those guys are totally HWAT!!! Oh... my.. gosh.. and the hottest is MICKY-YOOCHUN!!! OPPA!!!!!
Okay, firstly he didn't get any attention from me. And I've said that he's the weirdest among of them before Max. I fell to U-know, the leader, first. But.. he just entered my heart step by step; and really traps me into his charisma!!! DAMN!!!

Here's him.. This is one of my favorite pic of him.... I have a lot of favorite pictures of him. But, this picture never make me bored.. Kekekekeke ( I think he so damn HOT there!! His eyes!!! His eyes, really like want to eat me up!!!)

I don't know though I know that he's not as handsome as the other 9but he really have such a GREATER charisma than the others!!); but he just too cute to be true and the most important thing is his husky manly voice!!! DAMN!!! That part is totally freaking me out so mucho!!! Gezzz!!!!

I don't know every husky voice always drive me crazy. That's like one of my fetish too..ekekkeek... may be.. Um... If you ask me why he's really driving me become such a crazy girl, who adores and um... dream about him *sigh* ('till now I've not meet him yet), I can't say anything but I can type it and list it. Kekekeke.. here are my reasons:

1st. As I say his damn hot husky manly voice. Okay.. sometimes his voice crack when he sings but when he talks or raps wow...wow...wow.. That sexy voice really melt me down. I got goosebumps and grinning all the times. I prefer Xiah for singing things is TVXQ, he has unique voice. I love every rare and unique things.

2nd. His family background, his hardship and unpredictable mood really same with my own. That's one thing that connected me with him. Kekekekeke....

3th. I do realize he is not American! I just mean what he learned in his years in America, but the english! Um... I mean Micky's funny version of English anyway. He differently adds his own spin to it (long way people~~). I still find it to be one of the most charming things about him. I really find that funny but I love it.

4th. Have you ever seen WE ARE CURIOUS ABOUT TVXQ SERIES?? If you saw his part you can realize how he really cares on his brother. Kya!!! Sometimes I just imagine if only I being his younger sister. Gezz!!! I wold be so happy!! (poor me that I was the only kids on my family *sigh). And I really loves kids too!!! You can see it when he played on Fantastic couple. He loves to collect kids's popo (peck on cheek)

5th.He such a great musician and song writer!! His self-made songs always drives me crazy!! One of my favorite is HOLDING BACK THE TEARS. Whenever I got down, I always listen to this songs.I just love it...

6th His manly, dorky and silly side. Everything is mixed on his personality that make him look more charming and interesting for me!! Love you oppa!!!!

7th. His hip and shoulder thrust!!! I can't say anything, that's always make me crazy and scream!!! Kya!!!!!!

8th. His smile!!! I love the way his eyes turn when he's smile. He's the only TVXQ member who always looks so damn cool and great when do funny pose or cool pose!!! I can give you some prove. Here they are...

9th. His creative side. His drawing is so damn great, though that just a sketch (the Oshaerism show), his self-made songs and the way he acts. Whoaaaaa.....

10th. Though a lot of people said that his character a little bit like um.. a playboy; but I don't really care on that issue. I just love his mysterious image, and I found that cool!

11th. Um.. He the first crying guy type who steal my heart. I always hate and ignore a guy crying in front of my face; but I don't know!!! Whenever I'm looking on him and he's crying I always wanna cry too.. (How could this happen)-----> I will stop on number 13 bcause when you combine that number you can find "4" that's my favorite number.

12th. He + eye glasses = SUPER DAMN COOL!!! I always think that guy with glass is such a dork and nerd man; but he's not!!! This's my favorite pic of him with glasses (what da ya think? What a great guy he is!!!)

13th. The last reason is Yoosu couple. I do really love this couple. They always make me smile and laugh too!!! Sometimes when Hero joins them, they really give me such a paradise....Kekekekeke.. But I'm Yoosu supporter; though I was Taesu (Tae Yeon-Junsu) Warriors and Yoochun- with someone later supporter too..Kekekeke..

So.. I just wanna say that Yoochun oppa will always be mine, whether he's married or something something...Kekekeke... He really inspire me and whenever I bored, damn bad mood and wanna smile a lots I just open my lappie and looking his photo or turn on my dvd player and TV and see his dorky side or TVXQ concert!!!! Oppa, saranghee...

Note : The Jelly Bean Factory by Gourment Beans is totally great!!! I can't stop to eat that!!!

X.O, Deedee

WHY DOES LIFE GO SO HARD 4 ME???

2009-07-14T23:49:00.004+07:00

Sometimes I ask to my self,why should I live and born in this damn world??

Is that to fulfill some mission? Finding something that never exists? Helping the others to outta their problems? Making the other smile?

*sigh

Growing up, getting old, less dreams, more problems, loneliness, tears, day dreaming...

Since I was a little girl, I have to deal with lotta hard things. One that needs to be spoiled, loved and cared often cries alone in her pillow. Noone can help me outta of my own damn cruel world. They will always never can. They don't know...

A silly girl who always be dumped with wrong person.*sigh* Why should I know about love if it doesn't exist?

Smile with fake smile, act cold, head strong and " I don't care" actions, should I be that kind of girl?

I know that life never can be perfect. But, I can't face it again.

I do anything to make the other happy, proud, care of me... *sigh* but it's worthless...

Can I have friend coming to me not only to throw up their problems and ask for advices?

Can I have someone to rely on and share some of my secret then wanna hear my problems... Letting me borrow one of their shoulder to be cried?? *cih..they will never be anyone*

When will this happen? Someone wanna tell me??

I'm not that kinda strong girl. I'm not that kinda mature girl...*sigh*

Why does life go so hard for me?

When will it stop and get to be easier??

When will the rescuer come? DAMN WITH THIS LIFE!!!

Choahaji anayo
Hwaga nayo
Silmangiyeyo
P'igonhaeyo
Musowoyo
Chiruhaeyo

Turobwayo, chinggu....

Another Yoochun Oppa inspirational Words!!!!

2009-06-30T20:36:00.002+07:00

Whoa.... That pic is taken while JaeChunSu oppas hosted their Bigeast Radio Show in Japan episode 117. In that show there's Yoochun oppa's quote that caught my eyes :

ジュンスは話し方をジェジュンはあいさつを気を付けてください！
Junsu, please watch out your speak and for Jaejong hyung watch out the way you greet people...,

そして、小さな幸せを感じながら過ごしたいよね！！（ユチョン）
And then, let's keep walk in this life though with little happiness [Yoochun]

I was kinda shocked with his words, honestly yesterday I cried by myself for mourning my unhappy life. I mean... ummm.... I feel so blessed with my life but not for some part....kekkeke...
But after I read that I just like.. um... more motivated...kekekkek.... *hugz Yoochun oppa so tight* Even looking Jaejoong oppa's face is really fun for me...ekekekkekek He turns too dorky guy lately..*pinched Jaejoong oppa cheecks and get glare and pouted from Yoochun oppa...kekekkkekekke*

*sigh* Why does life feel so boring?? Or may be I'm too boring for living in this world???

My room....Campus....My room...
My room....Campus....My room...
My room....Campus....My room...
My room....Campus....My room...
My room....Campus....My room...
My room....Campus....My room...
My room....Campus....My room...
My room....Campus....My room...
My room....Campus....My room...

No longer know what hobbies are..No longer know what rest is..,Where are all truly my friends?
How you are supposed to enjoy the life....
At some point, losing something while gaining another has become increasingly natural...
But,because I received these other things..the things I'll have to throw away from now on will increase...
While get happiness, I'll get another sorrow from the other side too....

*sigh* Why life feels so unfair and unperfect???

Anyone wanna aswer this???

PS: YAH!!!! Someone out there... I like you, have you known it??? *sigh* Would you break up with your recent GF and be mine??? *sigh* This's been a year for me!!!!!

Love you guys,

Dee

It's Been A Long Time, I'vent Updated This Blog

2009-06-28T23:31:00.004+07:00

Whoa..... It's been a long time for me not updating this blog.. Kekekekek...

Whoa... I've been back to my hometown since June, 21st with my best friend, Novy and her new BF; Hengky.

Kekekekke....

Actually, I hate when I should come back to my hometown, dunno why; but I really don't like it. Kekekekek....

Anyway, fortunately come back to my hometown means that I will live life as a princess again... Kekekek.. there's lotta people wanna serve what I want and do what I want too; but kekekkkek... again I don't like when I have to come back to my home city.

Today, I went to church with my daddy. Whoaa.... again, I hate when I should meet lotta person in church, sometimes I found that they are little bit annoying....kkekkekke... Why I talk lotta bad things this time. So I think I should stop spazzing about my daily things...ekkekeke...

I did karaoke with my lovely dongsaeng, Haemin by Skype this afternoon. Let me memorized what I have sung today... um.... Because of you, If by Tae Yeon, Beautiful Things by Xiah, Rainy Night by Xiah (TAESU MODE ON!!!!Yeah...), Eat You up and Umbrella.. Kekekek.. We wanna practice some of our collab song but the voices can't synchronized... So we decided to sing any songs and heard when someone sang. Woaaaa.... I really enjoyed it, hope that the rest of DR34MZ girls try it together one day.

Really I miss all the girl so much.. We've cancelled 2 confe.... When will that be held again???? Why all the girls are really busy these days!!!!???? ARRGGGGGHHHH!!!!

I checked all the updated of TVXQ things today in TVXQINDO site and I found TVXQ'S August'09 B-Pass interview part one. It's about STAND BY YOU's promotion page and i found this quotes from Micky Yoochun oppa answer about " one who is unable to let go of the shadow of the past"

"From a certain angle, I really don't wish to walk out of broken love. It's not that I want to be together with the other person again but instead, letting the hurt be one of my possessions - keeping it with me forever."

Woa... When I read his answer, I just....um....it's kinda talk about my habit too.*hug Yoochun oppa*.

Honesty, I'm scared for being single almost for 20 years, I gonna turn to 20 this October. I mean...I have lotta bad traumatic moment and that make me scared of commitment issue.

It's kinda weird, when it comes to guy, one that make got butterfly in my stomach, I will turn to be so cold and cruel. It's automatically happen. I think that's why it's hard for guy to approach me and I approach the boy. And the weird thing is I can't forget my past; I love to keep all my bad memory, especially when it connected to Lovey Dovey Things!!!! GAH!!!!!

When should I stop this habit???? Hope that my armor knight comes later...

Note: About the pic, we took it um... on June 25th after ate ice cream in DOMINO. I'm the one kissing the bottle, Novy is the other girl, boy wearing blue shirt is Hengky and boy in black is Iwan; my other boyfriend...

X.O.X.O

Dee

HURAY!!!!!

2009-06-17T17:54:00.002+07:00

Huray!!!!! Thanks God that final exam week has ended!!! Yipee....!!!!!

I'm totally FREE now!!!!

I got my first circle lenses this morning!!! Again.. yipeee!!! I bought the black one! I wore that in this entry photo! Yeah... can you find the difference??? Kekekkekek.... May be you can't because the lenses is black! Kekekkek... gezz what's really I talking about! Kekekekek....

Finally, the so long long holiday has come! Honestly, I hate holiday; i hate when I just spend my day with nothing to do! I HATE THAT SO MUCH!!!

But, thanks for a chance to being a part of DR34MZ; so that I can spend my holiday to record our 1st collaboration album! Go DR34MZ GO!!!!

We'll sing 5 popular Korean songs. I can't wait till JanMi and HaeMin mix that and we posted that in Youtube and Soompi. Kekekke.... yeah may be some of you think that I'm to old to do this (again, origadono rijimarayo....kekekekke); but I do love to sing so much!!!

I have a plan to cover some song to and post that to YouTube... Kekkeke ... I'll reveal some songs will be sang by me, you can request other song to....kekekek, just leave your request on my tag box. Here're they are :

1. Hurt by Christina Aguilera
2. Only Hope by Mandy Moore
3. Have You Ever by Brandy
4. Because of You by Kelly Clarkson
5. Umbrella by Rihanna
6. If by Tae Yeon
7. Complete by SNSD
8. Stichwitchu by PCD
9. Can You Hear Me by Tae Yeon
10. Kissing You by SNSD

Um... May be I will sing song out that list too!!! Can wait till I reach my home and start the recording!!! Hoa!!!!!!

Gotta go again!!! See ya again to the next post!!!

Love you all!!!!

x.o.x.o, Deedee

BORED!!!!!

2009-06-12T22:42:00.004+07:00

Woah... It's been a long time not updating my personal blog. Do you guys miss me??? What??? Nope???? Hiks...

I'm still on my final exam week. Today I got two final exam for Psychology Communication Subject and Intercultural Communication Subject. Those are kinda easy for me...Kekekekek...
I'm making my Public Relation Theory's paper while updating this blog too. Kekekkeke... Gezz.. I don't know why lately I always feel bored and think that somethings wrong on me...

Kekekkeke... Um, what's wrong again with me???

I'll be back to my hometown this June 24th, LONG HOLIDAY!!!!!!! I'll record all the dr34mz songs and cover some songs too. I need something to fulfill my holiday. I hate doing nothing in my holiday. Btw, anyone wanna request some song to be sung by me??? Kekekkekek...

I need new headset with mic.... I'll buy one after I reach out my home town. I broke my old one...Kekekke...

Today, I chatted with Jenifer, one of Jeha's friend. DAMN! Why I only find dongsaengs around cyber world??? I need unnies and oppas too!!! Hiks...

Gezzz.... How could my brain got freeze now? I couldn't think anything to be put up on my paper... I should submit this tommorow at 07.30 a.m! Ottoke????

Hmmppphhhh....

It's better for me to stop this and continue work on my paper...

See ya 'gain

Love ya all....

Dee

PS: I'll take that photo few minutes ago before typing this entry... Am I look so depressed and sad??? Kekkekke... I think I need to shorten my bang!

1st Meeting Wif my BFF's New BF

2009-06-06T23:36:00.005+07:00

What'z up??? Deedee is in da house!!! Kekekeeke...

Again... I spent lotta money again...Hiks... I bough 10 DVD again... Poor me...

As my promise I wanna share my experience meeting my new best friend's new BF.

Whoa.... my 1st impression toward hims kinda... Ummm weird. His image's totally cold; and I think like he's so weird and not cool. But, dunno *i hope he'll be like this 4 ever* actually he's really funny and kind too. His physical side looks adorable if it matched with my BFF.

Sumthing funny when we went to Atom Mall, his car broke up!! How could you imagine that then..kekekeke.. He tried to act cool and make sure that all the girls calm and not worried. But actually he's in tension too.. Thanks God that he can fixed it... kekekek..

So, after we went together; me, my BFF, my BFF'S new BF, and one of my BFF's collage friends; I think he's passed my hidden test and hope that he'll fulfill his promise toward me. Um... I hope that he's the last one for my BFF, no hurting and traumatic broke up again...

Then...it's about me again....When will this girl have BF???? Wanna introduce me to sumone???kekekekke... Kidding....

Note:

♥ I took the pic above after came back meeting them and changed my cloth....kekekeke... I curled my hair today...But it've been kinda messy already...♥
♥Tomorrow all the dr34mz girls wanna do the 2nd confer...can't wait to see all the members and going crazy again..♥
♥Yeah...I'm so happy too!! Jeha or Summer, one of my silly and naughty and lovely dongsaeng wanna be dr34mz's first promoter!! Go Jeha go!!! Love ya so much...♥

Enough for today... See ya again tomorrow...

Love and X.O.X.O

Deedee ♥

Shopping time!!!

2009-06-05T23:08:00.002+07:00

Whoa.... I bought lotta things for myself from yesterday. I 've already bankrupt though this's not reached the end of the month..*really I wanna fix up this bad habbit!!!!*

Today, I went to ITC and Atom Mall with some of my close friends; Van2, Tia n Amel.. Kyakyakyakya... Each of us has spent lotta money today... Gezz... hate this so much; how could I be so stupid like this, spent so much money; for unimportant things.. Kekekeke.. Today I bough lotta things :

20 DVD @ 7500idr =150.000IDR
1 panda t-shirt (so cute...)=30.000IDR
1 black mini dress with little white polcadot =90.000IDR
1 cute necklace = 20.000 IDR
1 black undergarment=10.500 IDR

Whoaa... How could I spent that lots??? Yesterday I've spent 200.000 IDR , today it's more than that!!!???? Ottoke???

Tommorow, one of my bestfriend; Novy asked me to go to Atom Mall again(gah.. today I've went there). But's it's okay, I can meet her new BF tommorow.. I really hope that she's found the right one now.*when will I meet the right one then?? Should I wait that guy 4ever, till he broke up with his GF???*
I'm really curious to her new BF so muc.. I'll give him lotta hidden test 2morrow!!! Kekekekek.... Wait my story tommorow guys, how this nappun girl tease her BFF new BF!!! Wuhhuuuoiiiii!!!!!

Whoaaa... Gotta go now... I wanna see some of my new DVD... Yipeee!!!!!!!

Dr34mz girls annyong... Dreamer annyong...

X.O.XO

Deedee

Some purikura took today with Van2, Tia and Amel (who's the pretties then??kekkekek)

Saengil Chukahae, Yoochun oppa!!!!

2009-06-04T10:26:00.001+07:00

Yei!!!!4th, June 2009-Happy Birthday my Yoochun oppa!!!

Whoa!!!!! Getting older again,huh??? Kekekekek... but you're always be my dorkiest, coolest, cutest and most charming oppa ever!!!

Yoochun oppa.... On this special day; I just wanna pray some wish for your life:

♥ I hope oppa will always be happy, happy and happy. So you'll always smile and no more sad tears again...
♥ I hope oppa will always be inspired with lotta things so you'll always make a great and touchy songs for me...
♥ I wish oppa be healty though oppa have really hectic schedule, and wish you have more sleeping time too ( I bet that you really wish that too, oppa!!!kekekekek....)
♥ Oppa, you should have someone who loves you oppa. So, hope you'll find a right woman ASAP!!! (How could cool guy like ya haven't had GF yet???)
♥ I wish that you become more great as a son and big brother for your mom and ricky~ also, be a good 'father' for harang too xD
♥ I hope that your business will always run well and give lotta income too!!!
♥Oppa... I hope all your hidden dreams come true this year!!!

last but not least...
I hope your birthday this year will turn as a happy and memorable day~ wish you all the best, oppa... keep smiling and..hwaiting!!~ XD

L♥ve and XOXO, Deedee